-On the conflict between the developing moral framework of modern society, and ancient rural traditions
.
Bye, baby Bunting,
Daddy’s gone a-hunting.
But on account of the hunting ban,
Daddy’s landed in the can.
.
.
.
-On man and his place in nature
.
A garden is a lovesome thing, God wot,
But if it’s full of greenfly, then it’s not.
.
.
.
-On conviction
.
Hoity toity riddle me ree
I love George Bush and he loves me
Hoity toity riddle me lark
The American army will win in Iraq
Hoity toity riddle me stoat
Bob Dylan’s the Galaxy’s greatest poet
Hoity toity riddle me rat
And of course I believe that the Earth is flat.
.
.
.
-On the arts and society
.
Hocus and Pocus were two very pretty men
They lay in bed till half past ten.
But when their snooze was over
Their work was not a failure,
For they sold the bed to Saatchi
And they went to Venezuela.
.
.
.
-Actionable this day
.
Uri Geller
Is a lovely feller
Except when he’s trying
To sue folk who say he’s been lying.
.
.
.
-To a Goldsmiths psychologist currently in Atlanta, Georgia.
.
My mate Debbie
(world leader in her field, maybe)
is a fan
of primates, and to a man
(that is if primates can be compared with a man -
and I think it’s true)
They like her too,
Even in the zoo
When she sits (or stands)
And observes them doing things with their feet (or hands)
Which you or I would get quite serious injuries from doing
(and I won’t even attempt to describe their methods of wooing).
.
And the apes peer at her
And in their ancient minds, perhaps are writing
The conclusions of their theses (to be bound in hairy red leather)
On human behaviour.
.
.
.
- What is shallower than profundity?
.
.
What is quieter than a waterfall?
What is lonelier than a crowd?
What is gentler than a glacier?
.
What is more savage than a mother?
What is crueller than a nun?
What is harsher than time?
.
What happens to an idea when it dies?
Or to a candle flame when it is extinguished?
Or to a sociologist when he ceases to be fashionable?
.
.
.
-"Like Esso, Bush has denied the reality of climate change and has even ordered his government department in charge of the environment to alter the findings of a report, which said climate change is real”
‘
‘ Greenpeace website, 20/2/2006
‘
Oh we’ll all go together when we go,
When we’re drowning in a paper undertow,
When the plastic cups and bottles
Pile right up and finally throttle’us,
Yes we’ll all go together when we go.
.
Oh we’ll all sink together when we sink,
When pollution’s turned the oceans into ink,
And it won’t be so surprising
When the sea levels are rising,
That we’ll all sink together when we sink.
.
Oh we’ll all die together when we die,
But despite it all our spirits will be high,
For George Bush said “it won’t happen!”
So our thighs we’ll be slappin’
When we all meet together in the sky!
.
.
.
-On the value of a classical education in broadening, stimulating and generally improving the mind
.
Amo amas amat
The dog sat on the cat
Amat amas amo
It’s time for me to go.