The ode of a DIY enthusiast to his true love



To you I will be true, my sweet,

And for your interests fight

I’ll stick to you like glue, my sweet,

As hard as Araldite.


I’m like a dripping tap, dear,

Where my love for you’s concerned,

I’ll burble on and on, dear,

And never off be turned.


Beside you I will lurk, mate,

A willing, snorting prancer,

Your Black and Decker workmate,

Your every problem’s answer.


And when the time has come, love,

To leave this tearful valley,

I’ll reckon my job well done, love,

If I’ve truly made you happy.

Te necesito



I don’t know who first came up with this format: many song writers have used it.  This is just my own personal twist on an old idea.



I need you like a handle needs a door
I need you like a ceiling needs a floor


I need you like a plughole needs a sink
I need you like a Russian needs a drink


I need you like a window needs a draught
I need you like a hover needs a craft


I need you like a Sooty needs a Sweep
I need you like a willow needs to weep


I need you like a Hill needs a Dollis
I need you like a Gromit needs a Wallace


I need you like a carriage needs a train
I need you like a notion needs a brain


I need you like a dragon needs a knight
I need you like a cigarette needs a light


I need you like a “Brother” needs a “Big”
I need you like Paul Daniels needs a wig


I need you like an avalanche needs a slope
I need you like a giant panda needs another giant panda to discuss Chairman
Mao’s Three Worlds theory in the light of the collapse of communism in East
Europe.



The ABC of love


Ave, adorable angel, always

Beautiful, because banishing beastliness, besieging bullies

Conquering cant, cementing confidence

Defeating devilish deviousness, destroying doubt, dearest darling.

Etherial elegance echoing eternity, ever esteemed,

Faithful, full, frank, far-famed,

Go gladly, gloriously, gorgeously,

Have heaven hearken.

I

Just

Know

Love,

My Madonna, my Magdalene,

No nonsense, nightmares, naughtiness, nor

Opposition, obtuseness, obscenity, or other

People’s petulance,

(Qualities,

Radiant

Sweetheart,

To thou

Unknown),

Will worry or waste

You,

Victorious

Zenobia.